Lately, it’s been raining alot. Very boring actually, it doesn’t feel like summer at all meeh.
And I’m going to France in about… 16 days? lol
Nothing more to talk about, c ya~! 😀
Got this new idea for a GTOP fanfic a few days ago, quickly scribbled it down and well here it is!
Inspired by ”Fantastic Baby”
King TOP – Leader of the regim, the bluehaired man with the piercing eyes and deep voice that makes ladies swoon.
Above- Close-Up on TOP, in front of the Capitol.
Below- King TOP.
Commander GD – G-Dragon got hurt in battle and was taken to the Regim’s castle. Noone knows his real name or his reason for starting the revolution four years ago. The leader of the rebels but officially only a commander.
Above- GD when hurt from the battle, as he looks in the story. Looks like this when prisoner.
Below- GD as leader for the rebels, or as ”Commander GD” for those who doesn’t know who he really is.
Daesung is TOP’s personal assistant. Blonde and always wears a blue suit.
Taeyang is a (sexy) bodyguard of TOP and sometimes others when needed. He can also fight on the feild.
Seungri is responsible for economy and money. Kind of a whore though
”You’re a different specie to me”
”Just because I’m a rebel? Would it be different if I was one of your regim puppets?”
”First, before you’re sent back to the dungeons, I would like to speak to you about other things”
”And why is that?”
”You’re a rebel. You’re like a different specie to me”
I don’t own any of the gifs or pictures used in my posts. (Except for my selcas)
New fanfic yayy!
Will post more of YASBTM later on keke just being lazy right now 😛
Basic info about G H O S T
[Shall be updated (maybe xD) later]
Type of fandom: SHINee/Shawol
Pairing: JongKey [Key/Kim Kibum x Kim Jonghyun]
Rating: Idk… PG-13 for a guess~
Chapter count: This far, one, working on pt 2
Summary/Plot: Key is a ghost, and has been so for 80 years. He doesn’t remember his human name, now he’s only called that – Key. All ghost’s has got purposes, but Key just can’t seem to figure out (or find) his purpose. Until he one day sees this one peculiar human, who immediately catches his eyes. This human, called Jonghyun (but that’s yet unknown to Key) is lonely, on the edge to depressed, and he had no family or friends whatsoever. As Key discovers this, he wants to help the young man. There’s only one problem – Jonghyun doesn’t know Key exists.
Man it’s been a while since I blogged… Sorry for that guys. Been busy with mariamorbidia (fyi kpop blog and everyday-blog)
But I’m here again, this time with a new JONGKEY in store for ya’! Gosh, I swear they’re just to awesome to NOT write about XD
And before I ramble away and post the NEW FANFIC (insert victory dance here) I’ll give you the links to some importante places!
Hope to see you there!
Bye my lovelies xoxo
I sighed and puffed my cheeks as I sat on the swing, or at least tried to. It wouldn’t move as I tried to swing it – of course. A soft breeze messed up my hair as I thought about my past.
I didn’t really remember how it happened. Maybe it was a car accident? Or one of those bloody deaths, where the victim screams and the murderer stabs and stabs and laughs? Or just a peaceful passing, a beautiful quiet one – you know, dying while sleeping.
What did it matter really. I didn’t really think much of my previous life. It was over so there was no need to dwell on it. Right?
The creepy thing is that I was still there. Alive in some sort of form. I never really believed in ghosts, so it really was a surprise for me when I realized I actually was one myself. With see-through body, ice-blue lips and eyes and hair that looked like it was frosty with small, pretty, sparkling diamonds attached in it. The same hair color as the one I had in my living life though – golden blonde.
I admit, as a ghost you looked good, but it was extremely boring. Nothing to do, just floating around and watch when the living people went through their lives, eating, drinking, talking, feeling, and just living. Until they also died of course. Not everyone became ghosts though, no, there were just a few – the ones who had ‘unfinished business’ or something they had to do in the world of the living. Or at least Jinki told me so.
I didn’t have unfinished business, no, I was selected for some reason to stay in the world of the living and watch over the humans. Not so unlike an angel, but not exactly like one either. Angels – or more precisely, Guardian Angels – were chosen to watch over humans, but they were assigned one special human to watch until the said human dies, one that has special problems or are going to suffer. When the person dies, or no longer need his or hers angel, the angel in question is assigned another human. And so on.
Ghosts were different, as already said. They just wander around the humans, watch them, and report to the angels if they see something or notice something. They’re some sort of spies, I guess you could say. It’s like in the army, or anything. When you’ve served your time and filled your purpose you get to leave the earth and either become an angel or die fully.
I’d already been a ghost for about eighty years. I didn’t really have much to do, which means I was just hanging around being lazy while watching random people live and die.
I think I was about twenty years old when I died, but I really don’t remember that well. All my memories that I had left of my living life were all blurry and vague, but that wasn’t that strange after all – I mean, it had almost been one hundred years ago that I was born! I didn’t even remember my human name. Now I was only known as Key.
I sighed once more and gracefully stood up, the swing remaining as still as ever. I walked out of the small playground, me feet ‘floating’ about one inch above the ground as I did. I headed for the centrum of the city, walk-floating as fast as I could as I didn’t have much more to do. As I checked the watch on my wrist I discovered that the time was already 8PM, which meant there should be many people heading home from work right now. I smiled a bit to myself – watching people were actually one of my favorite hobbies, as well as my work. I loved watching the different faces of each and every person, imaging the life behind those eyes, or that smile, or those delicate pink-flushed cheeks.
I stopped in the middle of traffic, sometimes having a car going through me, but that was okay, it didn’t hurt, it was more like fun to watch the drivers’ reaction to the sensation.
Some ignored it. Some furrowed their brows and shuffled in their seat before returning to normal. Some shivered a bit. Some slowed down to look around. And yeah, countless of more reactions.
There, in the middle of everything, I had a pretty nice view over all the people passing by. I saw all of their faces – also something good about being a ghost; your eyesight improved. I smiled as I made up stories for all of the people who were busy being wrapped up in their own bubble of life.
The woman with the long braid, medium-dark skin and black coat, she’s heading home from her highly official work which she’s considering to quit because of her boyfriend, an amateur artist who wants to go to Paris to get inspiration. It’s their one year anniversary today, thus she’s got that small smile tugging her lips as she walks, and her eyes are shining with love for her boyfriend.
The family over there, with the man holding a map, they are tourists from Europe. It’s their first time in Korea, and the oldest daughter – the one with short blonde hair and purple shades – is the only one who knows a bit of Korean. She helps them around and asks for directions.
Right now they’re trying to find somewhere to eat dinner where all of them including the six year old boy can eat. They’ve been looking for an hour now, and everyone are getting impatient and grumpy. In about a quarter they’re going to give up and go back to the hotel.
And over there, workers are going out of the door to the company. They’re heading for buses and undergrounds and cars and trains to go home to their familie-
I interrupted myself in my thoughts as one of the workers caught my attention. He looked young, too young to be a business man, but still he had a look of mature on his face. His lips were curved in a smile as he said goodbye to his coworkers, but his eyes seemed dead. As soon as he turned away from the others, the smile disappeared and his face turned into a completely emotionless mask. Without thinking, I left my position in the middle of the road to follow the man. Something about him made me want to figure out more about him, it kind of… pulled me to him.
What was it about this man?
Was he the one I was supposed to find?
Was he… my purpose?
“Yah hyung! Wake up! Wakie wakie!”
Someone was poking my arm, hard. I groaned and shut my eyes tighter, clutching on to whatever was in my arms – I figured that it was my banana plushie. The person poked me again.
I finally opened my eyes and blinked a few times quickly in succession. I was met by the pitch darkness of the inside of our car. It was late at night, but the constant shining lights of Seoul made it almost as bright outside as at day.
I looked at my left, and saw the face of the maknae. Oh. I guess it was him who had been waking me up. And I then looked at what I had thought was my plushie.
The leader was pressed at me, just as before, but now with the difference that he was even closer, fully awake and with my arms around him. But he smiled. I, though, felt really embarrassed. Why hadn’t he waked me up when I started to hug him like this?
I immediately let him go, and stammered an excuse. He laughed.
“It’s nothing hyung, it was quite comfy… But I didn’t knew you were such a hugger” Jiyong smiled at me. I felt even more embarrassed.
“S-stop teasing me, Jiyong-ah! I didn’t mean too!”
“Oh come on, I was just joking Tabi”
I kept mumbling mumble my breath, not realizing that I pouted slightly, and crossed my arms. Jiyong burst out into childish giggle.
“Aigoo, you’re so cute hyung” I stopped pouting directly and looked at the laughing younger boy.
“Yes, yes it was!” Jiyong started to poke my cheeks, smiling widely. I saw Taeyang’s and Daesung’s laughing quietly in the background, while Seungri was just smirking oddly. I didn’t think more of this though.
“Don’t do that, Ji” I whined and half-heartily tried to pull away. The leader just continued, before Daesung finally spoke up.
“Nice you two are so cute and so but we need to get out of the car now… I need to sleep, hyungs” He said with a sigh and a small smile. I blushed the slightest bit, grabbed the door handle and stumbled out from the car. My legs were half asleep due to sitting in the same position for many hours. Taeyang luckily caught me by the arm before I fell, holding me upright. My body was stiff, and I was really tired even though I apparently had slept for about two hours. Whoa, only two hours? It felt like a lot more…
We went into our dorm and allowed ourselves to relax in the couches for a moment. The time was about midnight, but none really wanted to be the first one going to sleep again. But, the tiredness took over and the whole band went to their respective rooms to sleep.
I opened the door to my room as quietly as I could, and changed into my pajamas. Snuggling to my pillow, I yawned and drifted off to sleep once more.
“Good morning…” I stretched, yawning, and smiled to the other members of Bigbang already sitting around the kitchen table.
It was a beautiful day – the sun was shining, no clouds to be seen, and the lovely sound of chirping birds everywhere. Someone had opened up the window to the balcony, to let in some air, and the usual sound of cars was already to be heard – not that I actually minded.
I had been slightly woken up by the sunshine in my eyes, and then definitely when I hit the cold floor as I rolled out from my bed. Accidentally of course. The, the scent of pancakes had reached my nose and I had gotten up to follow the tempting odor.
I sat down on the chair closest to me, and reached out for the plate of pancakes that stood around three decimeters away from me. Daesung handed them to me – not that it was necessary but I guess he was in a good mood just as me – and smiled brightly.
“I made the pancakes hyung, I hope you’ll like them” He said cheerily, and I smiled back as I took a bite of the syrup-drenched American pancakes. They tasted heavenly.
“It’s great, Daesung-ah” I managed to say before taking another, bigger, bite of the pancake. Daesung seemed to possibly get even happier.
“Really, you think so? Thank you Seunghyun-hyung!” Smiling his trademark smile, Daesung started to chat a bit with Taeyang who was sitting next to him, and already had eaten his first portion, starting on his second one.
The blonde leader turned to me – he had been so quiet I hadn’t quite noticed him yet, as he was sitting close to the wall half hidden by an open door.
“So, hyung, slept well?” Jiyong asked, stabbing his pancake.
I answered with a smile. “Yes, how about you?”
“Fine I guess… I woke up around three after having an awesome dream, and I had like inspiration to the greatest song ever!” He smiled and chewed on his pancake, swallowed, then took another bite. I took two more as I had eaten up the two first ones, and put on a lot of syrup now as well. Seungri stood up from the table and went out to his room to dress, but Taeyang and Daesung were still at the table.
I smiled at the leader.
“Really? How does it sound? And is it a solo for you or a song for the whole band?”
Jiyong looked down on his food, and mumbled the answer.
“I thought of it as another GD and TOP song really… If you don’t mind of course!” He looked up at me with worried eyes, and I looked back with a huge grin on my face.
“That’s awesome, Ji! I hoped we would do another song but I didn’t know if you wanted to…” Saying this, I patted his shoulder gently, and he smiled back obviously a bit relived.
“Okay, well, I left your parts of the song for you to write but I have a few suggestions and ideas that I hope you’ll like…”
“Sure, sure… Can you show me the song?”
Jiyong bounced up from his seat grinning, earning a few looks from Daesung and Taeyang but they dropped it soon.
“Of course! It’s in my room, come here!” Ji took my hand and dragged me toward his room, still smiling. I did too. It was very nice to hold his hand like this again, being all normal around each other.
We reached his part of the dorm, and I sat down on the messy bed. Jiyong went over to his desk and picked up his lyrics notebook, handing it to me. I flipped through the pages with finished and unfinished songs, some familiar, some not, until I reached the newest one.
The handwriting was a bit messy – he had obviously been tired writing it – but the words were still fully readable. I looked up at my best friend, questioning.
“What is it about?”
“Oh, uhm… It’s about… Love… Loving someone who you don’t know loving you back… Is it too cheesy?” Ji seemed nervous, looking away. “And it’s also about confusion and such… I dunno if you like it though…”
I smiled reassuring at him. “I bet it’s awesome” Then I started reading it.
It was indeed about love and confusion, but there was also a feeling of passion and anger in it, as well as sadness. Yeah, it might have sounded cheesy, but the small pieces of angst, sorrow and anger made the song perfect. It just fit together like a puzzle. I was once more amazed over Jiyong’s song writing skills, and looked up at him. He still looked nervous over my reaction.
“I was right” I just stated simply. “It’s awesome”
Jiyong lightened up in a wide smile. “You think so?”
I chuckled lightly. “Yeah, I do… It’s really good, Ji” I patted the bed, showing him to sit down beside me. And so he did.
“Only some things… Here for an example…”
I started to point some things out, only small things, like synonyms to words and such. He just nodded and agreed, and edited some things by himself too.
“And… I thought your part would be a little bit like this maybe” Ji said and started humming and scribbled some words down, then showed it to me. I hummed and agreed to that too, and then wrote the rest. Jiyong smiled.
We continued like this for a while, until we realized that we were still in our pajamas and the clock was around noon. I got up from the bed.
“I’ll just go change and then we can continue”
“Wait! It’s a beautiful day… Can’t we go out shopping or something, hyung?” Jiyong smiled at me. I stopped at the doorway, turning around to look at blonde boy.
Smiling a bit, I answered. “Sure, why not? Can we go shop some Bearbricks then?”
Ji chuckled. “Of course we can, Hyunnie”
So after a short while, we were both dressed and ready. Jiyong wore a pair of skinny, white jeans, a loose yellow t-shirt with colorful patterns on it, and black boots. I wore some normal blue jeans, not to skinny, nor to big, a black shirt and a jacket over that, which was in a slightly darker blue then the jeans. We told Taeyang, Daesung and the maknae where we were going and then went off.
Though we both wore sunglasses and hats we sent nervous glances around us as we walked down the street. It was crowded as always, but we the chance to be recognized still existed. And actually, Jiyong kind of… Stood out a bit in his clothing, so if a fangirl – or a fanboy – saw us, they’d recognize us.
After a while, we reached our first destination – a fashion store. Jiyong dragged me inside and started to look for clothes.
Then, after another two hours, we went out from the shop carrying shopping bags. We walked for a while until we reached the Bearbricks shop. I hurried inside and started looking at the cute toys.
“Aigoo, Jiyong-ah! This one is so cute, right?”
Jiyong chuckled. “Sure hyung…”
“I’ll buy it! And this! And that one over there!”
“Fine, but you’ll have you carry the bags by yourself”
We paid – or well, I paid – for the toys, and then we continued our walk. On our way toward the river we bought some ice-cream, and as we sat down on a bench by the banks of the river we took turns feeding each other with small bites – making my heart flutter of course. No one had recognized us so far, and Ji got risky – he took off his glasses.
“You shouldn’t do that, Ji…” I said as he put them away. He just smiled.
“But I want to be able to see the world today” was his simple answer. We got to be alone for a few minutes, before we saw a girl obviously knowing who we were. She stood five or six meters away from us, covering her hand with her mouth, then she seemed to calm herself down and shyly went over to us.
“C-can I get your autographs, please?” She almost whispered, clearly nervous but very happy. I smiled at her and signed the piece of paper she gave to me, writing a kind of cheesy message for her too. Jiyong smiled more widely before also signing. The girl bowed and then rushed off blushing. I turned to the blonde boy beside me.
“Shouldn’t we head back now?”
He looked back at me, still smiling. “Okay… I’m pretty tired anyway”
We stood up and started walking to our apartment. Ji put his glasses back on but it was too late – more and more fans started to follow us, taking pictures with their phones and dialing their friends.
We went into our house after waving to the fans.
As we stood taking off our shoes in the hallway of our dorm, Jiyong suddenly looked up at me, smiling cutely, before embracing me unexpectedly.
“Thank you for today, hyung. I think I kind of… Needed to get out for a bit”
I blushed, but as he had his face buried in my chest, he didn’t notice. I hugged him back.
“No problem Ji… I’ll always be there for you”
“Thank you all so much!”
I bowed to the fans, smiling and waving. At my left side I briefly saw Jiyong jump around also smiling and waving to the excited crowd.
We had just finished our performance and we were all sweaty and tired, but we all grinned happily when we walked in the corridors backstage, heading for our changing room. I glanced at the other members. Daesung – smiling his trademark smile at no one special. Taeyang – shirtless, as he had thrown his shirt to the audience. Seungri – grinning like a maniac. And lastly… Jiyong – telling everyone how we had rocked the stage, and sighing continuously. I guess that he felt relived. So did I.
After a couple of stressful weeks full of planning and practicing, the concert was done and over and we had time to relax again. Not that we didn’t like singing, but it got hectic after a while, and we were only human after all. I already felt how I started to relax, knowing that we had at least two weeks of holiday until it was time for work again. Loads of time to whatever we felt like, and it felt great. Smiling, I turned to Taeyang for a high five.
“We did great, right hyung?” He said, grinning back at me and wiping his face with a towel.
“We sure did… But why did you have to take your shirt off?”
Hi shrugged. “Felt like it. And the fans likes such things” I chuckled a bit.
“They really do”
We reached our destination – the small room where we were going to change from stage clothes to some more normal ones, get our appearance fixed, stuff like that. I sat down with a sigh in the couch stretching my arms.
Suddenly, Jiyong sat down beside me. I looked at him, surprised. He yawned and looked at me with a smile.
“Nice work hyung” He gently patted my arm, causing my heart to skip a beat and my face to flush the slightest bit – which was very unusual. I quickly looked away, noticing the leader’s weird look at me.
“Y-you too, Jiyong” I said hastily, giving a small smile in the leaders direction. He returned it and leaned against my shoulder. Of course, that made my heart ship another beat, and then speed up slightly.
“Aish, I’m so tired…” Jiyong sighed out and closed his eyes. His breathing slowed down and his tense body relaxed against mine. For a moment, I didn’t know what to do. I just let him lay there for a few second, just listening to him inhale and exhale. Then, I gently poked him.
“Yah, Jiyongie… Wake up” I whispered. He pouted and shifted himself into a more comfortable position, his body more pressed against mine.
“Just five more minutes, please…”
I sighed. He looked adorable.
“No, we have to go… Don’t fall asleep now, Kwon Leader”
Jiyong finally opened his eyes again, smiling the slightest bit, then muttering under his breath. “Fine then…” he rose from the couch and yawned loudly, then turned around to face me. Suddenly, he dragged me onto my feet.
“Whoa, Jiyong, what are you..?”
He just chuckled.
“If I’m going, you are too” Smiling, he continued to drag me by my hand, out to the car waiting for us outside the arena.
Some fans passing by started to scream and furiously calling people, or taking tons of photos – I guess they went crazy about Jiyong holding my hand, or just that they got to see us in person. In any case, I waved to them with my free hand, and guess what? They screamed and squealed even more. I smiled at this – they were so cute. In my eyecorner I saw Taeyang waving to the fans too.
Jiyong dragged me into the big, black car and shut the door behind us as the other embers already were sitting inside. Daesung looked like he was asleep already, resting against the window. Seungri and Taeyang were chatting quietly but stopped when the car started to move. Jiyong yawned and stretched his arms, accidentally hitting the back of my head as I was leaning forward.
“Ouch! Jiyong-ah, that hurt!”
He immediately apologized.
“I’m sorry hyung, I didn’t mean to” Pouting, he looked at me with those adorable puppy eyes, which he knew I couldn’t resist.
“Yeah, yeah… Whatever”
He smiled again, then he rested his head against my shoulder, earning a blush from me which hopefully no one noticed.
“Hyung… We’re in the car now so can I sleep now, please?”
“Of course you can Jiyongie” I answered, “just don’t drool too much in your sleep, okay?”
Jiyong hit me playfully with a fake expression of hurt on his face.
“Yah! I don’t drool!”
I chuckled at his pouty look.
“How do you know that? Anyway, go to sleep now before I change my mind” Not that I ever would, but…
Jiyong mumbled a thank you and then shut his eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.
I looked over his head, at the other members. They seemed to be asleep too – Seungri in a similar position as Jiyong, with his head resting on Taeyang’s shoulder. Daesung were still leaning against the window, and Taeyang simply slept where he sat. No witnesses, good.
I slowly leaned down and placed a light peck on the sleeping leader’s forehead.
“Sleep tight, Jiyongie” I whispered before closing my eyes, relaxing, and going to sleep too.
I cracked my eyes open the slightest bit as I heard Jiyong-hyung and Seunghyun-hyung talking. Jiyong had laid his head on Seunghyun’s shoulder, and seemed to slowly going off to sleep. Seunghyun seemed wide awake though. First, I was irritated at them disturbing my sleep, then I started to listen to their conversation instead.
“Yah! I don’t drool!” I heard the leader mutter. Seunghyun chuckled.
“How do you know that?” he answered with his deep voice, “Anyway, go to sleep now before I change my mind”
Jiyong mumbled something that sounded like a “Thank you” and then closed his eyes, relaxing against Seunghyun’s shoulder.
Suddenly, Seunghyun-hyung looked up, and I quickly closed my eyes again, pretending to sleep. I knew hyung wouldn’t have liked if he knew I had overheard them – not that they had talked about something private but anyway. I opened my eyes a millimeter just to check everything was okay. And what I saw totally surprised me.
Seunghyun slowly leaned down to kiss Jiyong’s forehead. The leader just continued sleeping, snuggling a bit closer maybe, smiling in his peaceful rest. Seunghyun also smiled, before leaning back and shutting his eyes. Soon after that, he fell asleep too.
I thought about this for a while – I knew they were close friends and had known each other for a long time, but I had never seen hyung do that before.
I smirked. I would totally tell the other about this tomorrow.
Friday night. Finally, some rest.
I sat down in the leather couch, closing my eyes and relaxed my tense body. The week had been stressful, but now we at least got some time to relax on before starting our schedule again.
I and the rest of Bigbang were spending the evening at our apartment. G-Dragon were sitting at his desk, obviously trying to make the impression of that he was writing a new song, but his head was resting against the papers in front of him, and he was staring blankly out in nowhere. Taeyang and Daesung was staring at some random show on the television, the sound low, and they didn’t even seemed to know what was going on in the show. And lastly, Seungri wa-
“IT’S FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY EVERYBODY IS LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND, WEEKEND”
“Oh for the love of God, Seungri, TURN THAT SHIT OFF!”
“Sorry, hyung… it wasn’t my fault, I just incidentally clicked the link” the youngest of our group muttered when Daesung burst out at him. I chuckled a bit. Rebecca Black had apparently woken up Jiyong, because he suddenly jerked his head up, looking confused.
“Hey, hey… What did I miss?” he asked sleepily. He looked adorable, even like this, with eyes hazy from sleep and messy hair and everything. I would always think he looked stunning.
Jiyong turned his attention toward me, was no one else was answering.
“Hyung, did I miss anything?”
“Nothing important really… Shouldn’t you go to sleep?” I answered with a small smile. He just yawned.
“Nah, not yet… I wanna stay awake a bit longer… It’s so nice… Having free time…” Jiyong yawned once more and his head dropped onto the desk, and in a second he was asleep again. Daesung jumped a bit at the thud, and Seungri looked up from his computer, looking for the source of the sound. Both of them smiled at the sight of the leader sleeping on the desk. Taeyang yawned too.
“Well, I’m going to sleep now… This show is boring, and I need to look good tomorrow” He said, smiling a bit before walking out from the room with a “Good night!”. Daesung turned off the TV and then rose from his seat.
“I guess I’m going too…”
“Yeah, me too… Can you take Jiyong-hyung to his room, please Seunghyun-hyung?” Both the maknae and Daesung looked at me, pleading with their eyes, and I sighed. Then, I rose from the couch too.
“Okay, I’ll do it… Go to sleep you two” I said, smiling at them. They thanked me and then walked to their rooms, yawning. I sighed softly and went over to Jiyong.
“Jiyong-ah, time to go to bed…” I whispered while shaking him gently. Jiyong just turned away.
“Just five more minutes, hyung…” he mumbled, shutting his eyes tightly in his sleep and clutching his hand around the pen tightly. He was just adorable with that pouty face. Or well, he was always adorable. But oh, those puffy cheeks! I just wanted to touch them, and so I had done when he was awake and he made them. Jiyong didn’t appreciate it though.
“No, now… You’ll get to sleep when you’re in your bed, okay?” I tried again. The younger sighed heavily before groaning and lifting his head up, nudging his eyes to rub out the sleep from them. When I looked at him though, those orbs were still hazed. So cute.
“Come on, I’ll help you”
I reached out for and took Jiyong’s hand, dragging him onto his feet. He swayed though, so I put my arm around his shoulder to help him. We made our way into his room, and Jiyong almost fell into his bed, still fully clothed.
“Thank you, hyung” He yawned again, covering his mouth with his hand.
“No thank you needed, Jiyongie… Go to sleep now” I whispered while ruffling his blonde hair. Just before I was going to leave the room, I heard a muffled voice from the bed.
“Don’t go…” Jiyong mumbled behind me. I turned around slowly, looking at my half asleep best friend. According to his face, he wasn’t asleep, but not fully awake, so I didn’t know what to do. Jiyong seemed to wait for something though, so I carefully sat down on his bed. Because I knew I’d be too tired to change, I had already changed into my pajamas before sitting down on the couch. Jiyong hadn’t though, but it didn’t matter.
The blonde boy looked at me though hazy eyes, before shutting them and going off to sleep. I realized how tired I was, when I watched his peaceful sleeping face.
I sighed and lay down beside the most beautiful person in the world.
Jag skolkade. Jag orkade inte vara kvar i skolan, orkade inte stöta ihop med dem igen, orkade inte, orkade inte.
Så det var så jag hamnade på den där parkbänken.
Jag satt där, utan jacka, eller någonting, och frös. Varför var augusti så kall helt plötsligt? Fast, det kunde ju vara för att det blåste.
Irriterat svepte jag undan några hårslingor som hade fastnat i mitt ansikte. För första gången på väldigt länge funderade jag på att klippa håret. Om det innebar att de inte skulle pressa ner mig i toaletten igen, så var valet enkelt.
Jag gillade ju min frisyr. Jag hade sparat länge för att få den, stylat den i min egen stil. Jag ville inte klippa håret trots allt.
Men om jag inte gjorde det, skulle F4 göra det åt mig.
Jag kände hur tårarna började komma, rinna nerför mina kinder. Jag snyftade till. Varför hade allting blivit så jävla svårt helt plötsligt? Jävla liv, jävla F4, jävla Taemin som över huvud taget existerade. Tårarna rann som frusna kristaller nerför mina kinder, de stelnade i det kalla vädret. Jag torkade ilsket bort dem, jag skulle fan inte gråta!
Jag reste mig upp igen, sparkade till en sten som råkade stå i vägen. Den flög iväg och studsade över marken två gånger innan den stannade igen. Jag styrde ilsket stegen hem igen.
Väl hemma öppnade jag dörren, smällde igen den efter mig och slängde min skolväska på golvet i hallen. Jag fick väl plocka upp den senare, just nu brydde jag mig inte. Klockan visade 13.47, och jag suckade. Jag skulle missa en massa viktiga lektioner, men jag ville hellre det än se F4 igen.
På vägen intill köket passerade jag den stora helkroppsspegeln som mamma ofta stod och tittade sig i. Jag stannade till och granskade mig själv. Var jag ful? Var jag värdelös, så som F4 hade fått mig att känna mig?
Såg jag verkligen ut som en tjej?
Det stripiga bruna håret som inramade mitt ansikte i en rak lugg och långa slingor framför öronen kanske såg ut som en tjejfrisyr, men ansiktet då? Jag kollade min näsa, mina ögon, mina läppar. Allting. Och drog en slutsats.
Jag var feminin. Men jag var absolut inte lik en tjej.
Tankspritt fingrade jag på en av slingorna. Om jag klippte av det kanske…?
Jag fortsatte ut till köket, och letade efter en tillräckligt kraftig sax. När jag inte hittade någon, suckade jag och tog en kniv istället. ”Jag kommer ju ändå ha eggen mot håret” tänkte jag, ”inget kommer hända… Dessutom kan jag jämna till det sedan”
Jag tog kniven i min ena hand – jag medger att det kändes konstigt – och gick ut till badrummet. Jag ställde mig där, med kniven i ena handen och försökte samla mod.
Och plötsligt stormade Key in.
Han bara stirrade.
Jag stirrade tillbaka.
Och undrade vad fan han tänkte om mig nu.
I’ve made a new blog here on wordpress!
As this blog timelessy is an fanfiction-blog, I made a blog about my everyday life too. I want to write about those kinds of stuff too!
Click –> Here!! <– Click
I heard my friend say that she was inspired by me to create a new blog and start writing – I was really touched. I hope more people out there thinks so!
Another friend of mine has made her blog. Please check it out – I promise it’s going to be awesome!
Click –> Here!! <– Click
Question: Requests of stories? I can write whatever (well, almost) whatever you want! Just leave me a comment, and I’ll do my best to fulfill your wish!
Thank you for you appriciation,
I gently ruffled Taemin’s soft, brown hair. He breathed softly and relaxed, and seemed to be far away in his dream land. I figured he dreamt something nice and happy, because he smiled in his sleep. It was soothing to see, calming me down as well. But not so much that I could sleep, no, not that much by far. I was still shaken up.
“Hey, Minho-ah! You’re back!”
I waved to the rest of the guys of the gang as I came closer. They waved back, big smiles on their faces. They seemed a bit tired, all of them, and actually a bit more dirty than usual. Strange, but I decided not to worry about it. They were always dirty after all – always tired – maybe it was just because I was so unusually clean myself that I thought they looked more unclean than I was used to… Well, never mind that.
“Hi guys! Missed me that much, eh?”
Jonghyun walked up to me, brohugging me before letting go and looking into my eyes with a smile.
“Sure we did, hell, why did you just disappear like that, bro?” I laughed.
“Well, you know the storm? I was like caught in it, and I had to find a shelter. I actually got to have a roof over my head that night – a nice kiddo took me into his house”
The gang whistles and I smirked. Jonghyun smiled widely.
“Great! Got any money from him?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t took it – he gave it to me” Another whistle, this time from Jiyong.
“Awesome!” Jonghyun said, patting my shoulder. “How much?”
I silently took up the won Taemin hade gave me, and noticed the others hungry glares at them. I wasn’t really in need for them, so I gave it to them – everyone got alike of course. Their smiles widened.
“No problem, guys, damn… It’s nothing” I laughed at their eager. “Now, let’s go and buy something good, eh?”
A while after that – around lunchtime, I figured, because I didn’t have a clock – we all sat down near the basketball court, stuffed with all kinds of food. Or, rather, the food we had the money enough to buy. Because when we had money, we didn’t steal. But when we didn’t we stole what we needed to have for surviving. I always felt guilty afterwards, but that feeling became more dulled over the years. It was the same for the other guys – Jonghyun, Jiyong and Seunghyun – they were always a bit quieter than usual after stealing. We would just sit there, eating stolen food, not talking at all. Then, someone – often Jiyong – came up with something to brighten up the mood in our small group. Sometimes, we played basketball. We had found an old ball at the court, and hidden it fell. It was our treasure. When people passed by while we were playing, they often started for a while – the old people smiling at our laughs and eagerness – before they started to walk again. When we played, we didn’t show anything of our misery.
Or, we danced and singed, as I’d told Taemin. And that was what we did now.
“Hey, can’t we do anything? I’m dying from boredom over here” Jiyong groaned. I turned toward him.
“I dunno… Sing? Dance?”
“Come on, we always dance without music, pabo!”
I laughed at the silly boy.
“Sure, Jiyong-ah… Seunghyun-ah, can you do the beat?” The eldest one of our group – though he didn’t always act like that – smirked at me.
And then, like at a commando, we all stood up. Seunghyun moved to the leftmost side, I stood at the back, Jiyong at the rightmost side and Jonghyun in the front. Some other kids playing at the court stopped their game and looked at us with curious faces. I smiled at them, and they got a little closer. Jiyong took off his hat and placed it on the ground – just in case someone wanted to give.
Seunghyun started his beatbox, and Jonghyun took the first steps. We decided to do a dance battle, so Jiyong was next, then me, and then Jonghyun again. Seunghyun – not so confident about his dancing moves, and making the beat – didn’t participate in the competition.
Jonghyun made a quick turnaround, slamming his hands against his thighs, danced backwards and hen smirked at Jiyong to tell him it was his turn. Jiyong smirked back and made a breakdance move. When it was my turn, I did the same thing as I had showed Taemin.
More and more people came to watch us, some giving us money. We continued until we felt how we started to get tired, and then Jiyong won the competition with his breakdance. The people gathering around us clapped and we smiled at them, bowing and thanked them for their attention. The kids we had seen earlier watched us with admiring eyes. We waved to them before they left. They were probably heading home, to a caring family who loved them… Oh stop it, no such thoughts Minho!
We sat down to rest a while after the dancing. We had all enjoyed it, and felt refreshed and happy afterwards – we usually did. For a while we just sat there, kind of exhausted, and ate the rest of the snack. We agreed about saving the money for later, and we put it on another safe place.
After about half an hour, three quarters, I looked at the sun checking the time. Because of many years going after the sun, I knew that the time was about four, and I figured that Taemin had quitted school by that time. I rose from the ground, and the three others looked at me. I smiled at them.
“I’m just going to take a walk! I’ll be back in a minute!”
They smiled back, waved and then continued to talk. I turned away from them and started walking in the direction of Taemin’s school. I took a shortcut through one of the many small alleys that lead from the court. I knew the way very well – we had used it as a runaway from cops many times when we had stolen food or other stuff, mostly clothes. I was about to turn right – I knew the left path went to a dead end – when I heard a slight yelp. It seemed to come from the left path, and I turned my head towards there. For some reason, I felt uneasy… And worried. I thought about shaking it off, but then I heard a loud thud and couldn’t ignore the feeling longer. To my very own surprise, I found myself dashing toward the sound. And then, I stopped dead in my tracks.
What I saw totally terrified me.
Taemin was lying on the ground, whimpering and gasping for air, while a huge man stood leaned over him, ready to hit Taemin’s pretty face with a heavy punch. The man had a really scary – almost perverted – grin on his face, and seemed to enjoy the sound of Taemin’s pain.
Without further thinking, I rushed forward again, and dragged the man away from my friend. I took a grip of his shoulders and practically threw him on the ground. His eyes widened in surprise, but I couldn’t even see which color they were – I only saw red. I bent over him, hitting first his stomach with my knee and then punched his face as hard as I could. And that was pretty hard. Years of surviving at the street, playing basketball and dancing, had made me strong. The man just blacked out, bleeding from his mouth. I didn’t pay more attention to him after that. I hurried over to Taemin again, placing my hand gently on his shoulder. He was shaking.
“Taemin-ah! Are you okay?” I asked him, the worry I felt heard in my voice. Then, I noticed now my hand was getting red.
“Oh god… Are you bleeding?” I said shakily. Then, he realized he seemed to relax in some weird way – he fell. “Taemin? Taemin!”
He had passed out. And I stood there, with his body in my arms, scared to death.
I breathed in deeply to calm myself. I looked at the boy sleeping in my lap. Oh Taemin. If you knew how much I care about you.