Månadsarkiv: september 2012

You’re so beautiful to me [Chapter 3]

Seunghyun’s POV

“Yah hyung! Wake up! Wakie wakie!”

Someone was poking my arm, hard. I groaned and shut my eyes tighter, clutching on to whatever was in my arms – I figured that it was my banana plushie. The person poked me again.

“Wake uuuuuup!”

I finally opened my eyes and blinked a few times quickly in succession. I was met by the pitch darkness of the inside of our car. It was late at night, but the constant shining lights of Seoul made it almost as bright outside as at day.

I looked at my left, and saw the face of the maknae. Oh. I guess it was him who had been waking me up. And I then looked at what I had thought was my plushie.

Jiyong. Shit.

The leader was pressed at me, just as before, but now with the difference that he was even closer, fully awake and with my arms around him. But he smiled. I, though, felt really embarrassed. Why hadn’t he waked me up when I started to hug him like this?

I immediately let him go, and stammered an excuse.  He laughed.

“It’s nothing hyung, it was quite comfy… But I didn’t knew you were such a hugger” Jiyong smiled at me. I felt even more embarrassed.

“S-stop teasing me, Jiyong-ah! I didn’t mean too!”

“Oh come on, I was just joking Tabi”

I kept mumbling mumble my breath, not realizing that I pouted slightly, and crossed my arms. Jiyong burst out into childish giggle.

“Aigoo, you’re so cute hyung” I stopped pouting directly and looked at the laughing younger boy.

“Not funny…”

“Yes, yes it was!” Jiyong started to poke my cheeks, smiling widely. I saw Taeyang’s and Daesung’s laughing quietly in the background, while Seungri was just smirking oddly. I didn’t think more of this though.

“Don’t do that, Ji” I whined and half-heartily tried to pull away. The leader just continued, before Daesung finally spoke up.

“Nice you two are so cute and so but we need to get out of the car now… I need to sleep, hyungs” He said with a sigh and a small smile. I blushed the slightest bit, grabbed the door handle and stumbled out from the car. My legs were half asleep due to sitting in the same position for many hours. Taeyang luckily caught me by the arm before I fell, holding me upright. My body was stiff, and I was really tired even though I apparently had slept for about two hours. Whoa, only two hours? It felt like a lot more…

We went into our dorm and allowed ourselves to relax in the couches for a moment. The time was about midnight, but none really wanted to be the first one going to sleep again. But, the tiredness took over and the whole band went to their respective rooms to sleep.

I opened the door to my room as quietly as I could, and changed into my pajamas. Snuggling to my pillow, I yawned and drifted off to sleep once more.


“Good morning…” I stretched, yawning, and smiled to the other members of Bigbang already sitting around the kitchen table.

It was a beautiful day – the sun was shining, no clouds to be seen, and the lovely sound of chirping birds everywhere. Someone had opened up the window to the balcony, to let in some air, and the usual sound of cars was already to be heard – not that I actually minded.

I had been slightly woken up by the sunshine in my eyes, and then definitely when I hit the cold floor as I rolled out from my bed. Accidentally of course. The, the scent of pancakes had reached my nose and I had gotten up to follow the tempting odor.

I sat down on the chair closest to me, and reached out for the plate of pancakes that stood around three decimeters away from me. Daesung handed them to me – not that it was necessary but I guess he was in a good mood just as me – and smiled brightly.

“I made the pancakes hyung, I hope you’ll like them” He said cheerily, and I smiled back as I took a bite of the syrup-drenched American pancakes. They tasted heavenly.

“It’s great, Daesung-ah” I managed to say before taking another, bigger, bite of the pancake. Daesung seemed to possibly get even happier.

“Really, you think so? Thank you Seunghyun-hyung!” Smiling his trademark smile, Daesung started to chat a bit with Taeyang who was sitting next to him, and already had eaten his first portion, starting on his second one.

The blonde leader turned to me – he had been so quiet I hadn’t quite noticed him yet, as he was sitting close to the wall half hidden by an open door.

“So, hyung, slept well?” Jiyong asked, stabbing his pancake.

I answered with a smile. “Yes, how about you?”

“Fine I guess… I woke up around three after having an awesome dream, and I had like inspiration to the greatest song ever!” He smiled and chewed on his pancake, swallowed, then took another bite. I took two more as I had eaten up the two first ones, and put on a lot of syrup now as well. Seungri stood up from the table and went out to his room to dress, but Taeyang and Daesung were still at the table.

I smiled at the leader.

“Really? How does it sound? And is it a solo for you or a song for the whole band?”

Jiyong looked down on his food, and mumbled the answer.

“I thought of it as another GD and TOP song really… If you don’t mind of course!” He looked up at me with worried eyes, and I looked back with a huge grin on my face.

“That’s awesome, Ji! I hoped we would do another song but I didn’t know if you wanted to…” Saying this, I patted his shoulder gently, and he smiled back obviously a bit relived.

“Okay, well, I left your parts of the song for you to write but I have a few suggestions and ideas that I hope you’ll like…”

“Sure, sure… Can you show me the song?”

Jiyong bounced up from his seat grinning, earning a few looks from Daesung and Taeyang but they dropped it soon.

“Of course! It’s in my room, come here!” Ji took my hand and dragged me toward his room, still smiling. I did too. It was very nice to hold his hand like this again, being all normal around each other.

We reached his part of the dorm, and I sat down on the messy bed. Jiyong went over to his desk and picked up his lyrics notebook, handing it to me. I flipped through the pages with finished and unfinished songs, some familiar, some not, until I reached the newest one.

The handwriting was a bit messy – he had obviously been tired writing it – but the words were still fully readable. I looked up at my best friend, questioning.

“What is it about?”

“Oh, uhm… It’s about… Love… Loving someone who you don’t know loving you back… Is it too cheesy?” Ji seemed nervous, looking away. “And it’s also about confusion and such… I dunno if you like it though…”

I smiled reassuring at him. “I bet it’s awesome” Then I started reading it.

It was indeed about love and confusion, but there was also a feeling of passion and anger in it, as well as sadness. Yeah, it might have sounded cheesy, but the small pieces of angst, sorrow and anger made the song perfect. It just fit together like a puzzle. I was once more amazed over Jiyong’s song writing skills, and looked up at him. He still looked nervous over my reaction.

“I was right” I just stated simply. “It’s awesome”

Jiyong lightened up in a wide smile. “You think so?”

I chuckled lightly. “Yeah, I do… It’s really good, Ji” I patted the bed, showing him to sit down beside me. And so he did.

“Only some things… Here for an example…”

I started to point some things out, only small things, like synonyms to words and such. He just nodded and agreed, and edited some things by himself too.

“And… I thought your part would be a little bit like this maybe” Ji said and started humming and scribbled some words down, then showed it to me. I hummed and agreed to that too, and then wrote the rest. Jiyong smiled.

“It’s good…”

We continued like this for a while, until we realized that we were still in our pajamas and the clock was around noon. I got up from the bed.

“I’ll just go change and then we can continue”

“Wait! It’s a beautiful day… Can’t we go out shopping or something, hyung?” Jiyong smiled at me. I stopped at the doorway, turning around to look at blonde boy.

Smiling a bit, I answered. “Sure, why not? Can we go shop some Bearbricks then?”

Ji chuckled. “Of course we can, Hyunnie”


So after a short while, we were both dressed and ready. Jiyong wore a pair of skinny, white jeans, a loose yellow t-shirt with colorful patterns on it, and black boots. I wore some normal blue jeans, not to skinny, nor to big, a black shirt and a jacket over that, which was in a slightly darker blue then the jeans. We told Taeyang, Daesung and the maknae where we were going and then went off.

Though we both wore sunglasses and hats we sent nervous glances around us as we walked down the street. It was crowded as always, but we the chance to be recognized still existed. And actually, Jiyong kind of… Stood out a bit in his clothing, so if a fangirl – or a fanboy – saw us, they’d recognize us.

After a while, we reached our first destination – a fashion store. Jiyong dragged me inside and started to look for clothes.

Then, after another two hours, we went out from the shop carrying shopping bags. We walked for a while until we reached the Bearbricks shop. I hurried inside and started looking at the cute toys.

“Aigoo, Jiyong-ah! This one is so cute, right?”

Jiyong chuckled. “Sure hyung…”

“I’ll buy it! And this! And that one over there!”

“Fine, but you’ll have you carry the bags by yourself”

We paid – or well, I paid – for the toys, and then we continued our walk. On our way toward the river we bought some ice-cream, and as we sat down on a bench by the banks of the river we took turns feeding each other with small bites – making my heart flutter of course. No one had recognized us so far, and Ji got risky – he took off his glasses.

“You shouldn’t do that, Ji…” I said as he put them away. He just smiled.

“But I want to be able to see the world today” was his simple answer. We got to be alone for a few minutes, before we saw a girl obviously knowing who we were. She stood five or six meters away from us, covering her hand with her mouth, then she seemed to calm herself down and shyly went over to us.

“C-can I get your autographs, please?” She almost whispered, clearly nervous but very happy. I smiled at her and signed the piece of paper she gave to me, writing a kind of cheesy message for her too. Jiyong smiled more widely before also signing. The girl bowed and then rushed off blushing. I turned to the blonde boy beside me.

“Shouldn’t we head back now?”

He looked back at me, still smiling. “Okay… I’m pretty tired anyway”

We stood up and started walking to our apartment. Ji put his glasses back on but it was too late – more and more fans started to follow us, taking pictures with their phones and dialing their friends.

We went into our house after waving to the fans.

As we stood taking off our shoes in the hallway of our dorm, Jiyong suddenly looked up at me, smiling cutely, before embracing me unexpectedly.

“Thank you for today, hyung. I think I kind of… Needed to get out for a bit”

I blushed, but as he had his face buried in my chest, he didn’t notice. I hugged him back.

“No problem Ji… I’ll always be there for you”


You’re so beautiful to me [Chapter 2]

“Thank you all so much!”

“Thank you!”

“Thank you!”

I bowed to the fans, smiling and waving. At my left side I briefly saw Jiyong jump around also smiling and waving to the excited crowd.

We had just finished our performance and we were all sweaty and tired, but we all grinned happily when we walked in the corridors backstage, heading for our changing room. I glanced at the other members. Daesung – smiling his trademark smile at no one special. Taeyang – shirtless, as he had thrown his shirt to the audience. Seungri – grinning like a maniac. And lastly… Jiyong – telling everyone how we had rocked the stage, and sighing continuously. I guess that he felt relived. So did I.

After a couple of stressful weeks full of planning and practicing, the concert was done and over and we had time to relax again. Not that we didn’t like singing, but it got hectic after a while, and we were only human after all. I already felt how I started to relax, knowing that we had at least two weeks of holiday until it was time for work again. Loads of time to whatever we felt like, and it felt great. Smiling, I turned to Taeyang for a high five.

“We did great, right hyung?” He said, grinning back at me and wiping his face with a towel.

“We sure did… But why did you have to take your shirt off?”

Hi shrugged. “Felt like it. And the fans likes such things” I chuckled a bit.

“They really do”

We reached our destination – the small room where we were going to change from stage clothes to some more normal ones, get our appearance fixed, stuff like that. I sat down with a sigh in the couch stretching my arms.

Suddenly, Jiyong sat down beside me. I looked at him, surprised. He yawned and looked at me with a smile.

“Nice work hyung” He gently patted my arm, causing my heart to skip a beat and my face to flush the slightest bit – which was very unusual. I quickly looked away, noticing the leader’s weird look at me.

“Y-you too, Jiyong” I said hastily, giving a small smile in the leaders direction. He returned it and leaned against my shoulder. Of course, that made my heart ship another beat, and then speed up slightly.

“Aish, I’m so tired…” Jiyong sighed out and closed his eyes. His breathing slowed down and his tense body relaxed against mine. For a moment, I didn’t know what to do. I just let him lay there for a few second, just listening to him inhale and exhale. Then, I gently poked him.

“Yah, Jiyongie… Wake up” I whispered. He pouted and shifted himself into a more comfortable position, his body more pressed against mine.

“Just five more minutes, please…”

I sighed. He looked adorable.

“No, we have to go… Don’t fall asleep now, Kwon Leader”

Jiyong finally opened his eyes again, smiling the slightest bit, then muttering under his breath. “Fine then…” he rose from the couch and yawned loudly, then turned around to face me. Suddenly, he dragged me onto my feet.

“Whoa, Jiyong, what are you..?”

He just chuckled.

“If I’m going, you are too” Smiling, he continued to drag me by my hand, out to the car waiting for us outside the arena.

Some fans passing by started to scream and furiously calling people, or taking tons of photos – I guess they went crazy about Jiyong holding my hand, or just that they got to see us in person. In any case, I waved to them with my free hand, and guess what? They screamed and squealed even more. I smiled at this – they were so cute. In my eyecorner I saw Taeyang waving to the fans too.

Jiyong dragged me into the big, black car and shut the door behind us as the other embers already were sitting inside. Daesung looked like he was asleep already, resting against the window. Seungri and Taeyang were chatting quietly but stopped when the car started to move. Jiyong yawned and stretched his arms, accidentally hitting the back of my head as I was leaning forward.

“Ouch! Jiyong-ah, that hurt!”

He immediately apologized.

“I’m sorry hyung, I didn’t mean to” Pouting, he looked at me with those adorable puppy eyes, which he knew I couldn’t resist.

“Yeah, yeah… Whatever”

He smiled again, then he rested his head against my shoulder, earning a blush from me which hopefully no one noticed.

“Hyung… We’re in the car now so can I sleep now, please?”

“Of course you can Jiyongie” I answered, “just don’t drool too much in your sleep, okay?”

Jiyong hit me playfully with a fake expression of hurt on his face.

“Yah! I don’t drool!”

I chuckled at his pouty look.

“How do you know that? Anyway, go to sleep now before I change my mind” Not that I ever would, but…

Jiyong mumbled a thank you and then shut his eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.

I looked over his head, at the other members. They seemed to be asleep too – Seungri in a similar position as Jiyong, with his head resting on Taeyang’s shoulder. Daesung were still leaning against the window, and Taeyang simply slept where he sat. No witnesses, good.

I slowly leaned down and placed a light peck on the sleeping leader’s forehead.

“Sleep tight, Jiyongie” I whispered before closing my eyes, relaxing, and going to sleep too.

Seungri’s POV

I cracked my eyes open the slightest bit as I heard Jiyong-hyung and Seunghyun-hyung talking. Jiyong had laid his head on Seunghyun’s shoulder, and seemed to slowly going off to sleep. Seunghyun seemed wide awake though. First, I was irritated at them disturbing my sleep, then I started to listen to their conversation instead.

“Yah! I don’t drool!” I heard the leader mutter. Seunghyun chuckled.

“How do you know that?” he answered with his deep voice, “Anyway, go to sleep now before I change my mind”

Jiyong mumbled something that sounded like a “Thank you” and then closed his eyes, relaxing against Seunghyun’s shoulder.

Suddenly, Seunghyun-hyung looked up, and I quickly closed my eyes again, pretending to sleep. I knew hyung wouldn’t have liked if he knew I had overheard them – not that they had talked about something private but anyway. I opened my eyes a millimeter just to check everything was okay. And what I saw totally surprised me.

Seunghyun slowly leaned down to kiss Jiyong’s forehead. The leader just continued sleeping, snuggling a bit closer maybe, smiling in his peaceful rest. Seunghyun also smiled, before leaning back and shutting his eyes. Soon after that, he fell asleep too.

I thought about this for a while – I knew they were close friends and had known each other for a long time, but I had never seen hyung do that before.

I smirked. I would totally tell the other about this tomorrow.

You’re so beautiful to me [Chapter 1]

Friday night. Finally, some rest.

I sat down in the leather couch, closing my eyes and relaxed my tense body. The week had been stressful, but now we at least got some time to relax on before starting our schedule again.

I and the rest of Bigbang were spending the evening at our apartment. G-Dragon were sitting at his desk, obviously trying to make the impression of that he was writing a new song, but his head was resting against the papers in front of him, and he was staring blankly out in nowhere. Taeyang and Daesung was staring at some random show on the television, the sound low, and they didn’t even seemed to know what was going on in the show. And lastly, Seungri wa-


“Oh for the love of God, Seungri, TURN THAT SHIT OFF!”

“Sorry, hyung… it wasn’t my fault, I just incidentally clicked the link” the youngest of our group muttered when Daesung burst out at him. I chuckled a bit. Rebecca Black had apparently woken up Jiyong, because he suddenly jerked his head up, looking confused.

“Hey, hey… What did I miss?” he asked sleepily. He looked adorable, even like this, with eyes hazy from sleep and messy hair and everything. I would always think he looked stunning.

Jiyong turned his attention toward me, was no one else was answering.

“Hyung, did I miss anything?”

“Nothing important really… Shouldn’t you go to sleep?” I answered with a small smile. He just yawned.

“Nah, not yet…  I wanna stay awake a bit longer… It’s so nice… Having free time…” Jiyong yawned once more and his head dropped onto the desk, and in a second he was asleep again. Daesung jumped a bit at the thud, and Seungri looked up from his computer, looking for the source of the sound. Both of them smiled at the sight of the leader sleeping on the desk. Taeyang yawned too.

“Well, I’m going to sleep now… This show is boring, and I need to look good tomorrow” He said, smiling a bit before walking out from the room with a “Good night!”. Daesung turned off the TV and then rose from his seat.

“I guess I’m going too…”

“Yeah, me too… Can you take Jiyong-hyung to his room, please Seunghyun-hyung?” Both the maknae and Daesung looked at me, pleading with their eyes, and I sighed. Then, I rose from the couch too.

“Okay, I’ll do it… Go to sleep you two” I said, smiling at them. They thanked me and then walked to their rooms, yawning. I sighed softly and went over to Jiyong.

“Jiyong-ah, time to go to bed…” I whispered while shaking him gently. Jiyong just turned away.

“Just five more minutes, hyung…” he mumbled, shutting his eyes tightly in his sleep and clutching his hand around the pen tightly. He was just adorable with that pouty face. Or well, he was always adorable. But oh, those puffy cheeks! I just wanted to touch them, and so I had done when he was awake and he made them. Jiyong didn’t appreciate it though.

“No, now… You’ll get to sleep when you’re in your bed, okay?” I tried again. The younger sighed heavily before groaning and lifting his head up, nudging his eyes to rub out the sleep from them. When I looked at him though, those orbs were still hazed. So cute.

“Okay, okay…”

“Come on, I’ll help you”

I reached out for and took Jiyong’s hand, dragging him onto his feet. He swayed though, so I put my arm around his shoulder to help him. We made our way into his room, and Jiyong almost fell into his bed, still fully clothed.

“Thank you, hyung” He yawned again, covering his mouth with his hand.

“No thank you needed, Jiyongie… Go to sleep now” I whispered while ruffling his blonde hair. Just before I was going to leave the room, I heard a muffled voice from the bed.

“Don’t go…” Jiyong mumbled behind me. I turned around slowly, looking at my half asleep best friend. According to his face, he wasn’t asleep, but not fully awake, so I didn’t know what to do. Jiyong seemed to wait for something though, so I carefully sat down on his bed. Because I knew I’d be too tired to change, I had already changed into my pajamas before sitting down on the couch. Jiyong hadn’t though, but it didn’t matter.

The blonde boy looked at me though hazy eyes, before shutting them and going off to sleep. I realized how tired I was, when I watched his peaceful sleeping face.

I sighed and lay down beside the most beautiful person in the world.

New Kid – Chapter 7

Jag skolkade. Jag orkade inte vara kvar i skolan, orkade inte stöta ihop med dem igen, orkade inte, orkade inte.

Så det var så jag hamnade på den där parkbänken.

Jag satt där, utan jacka, eller någonting, och frös. Varför var augusti så kall helt plötsligt? Fast, det kunde ju vara för att det blåste.

Irriterat svepte jag undan några hårslingor som hade fastnat i mitt ansikte. För första gången på väldigt länge funderade jag på att klippa håret. Om det innebar att de inte skulle pressa ner mig i toaletten igen, så var valet enkelt.

Fast nej.

Jag gillade ju min frisyr. Jag hade sparat länge för att få den, stylat den i min egen stil. Jag ville inte klippa håret trots allt.

Men om jag inte gjorde det, skulle F4 göra det åt mig.

Jag kände hur tårarna började komma, rinna nerför mina kinder. Jag snyftade till. Varför hade allting blivit så jävla svårt helt plötsligt? Jävla liv, jävla F4, jävla Taemin som över huvud taget existerade. Tårarna rann som frusna kristaller nerför mina kinder, de stelnade i det kalla vädret. Jag torkade ilsket bort dem, jag skulle fan inte gråta!

Jag reste mig upp igen, sparkade till en sten som råkade stå i vägen. Den flög iväg och studsade över marken två gånger innan den stannade igen. Jag styrde ilsket stegen hem igen.

Väl hemma öppnade jag dörren, smällde igen den efter mig och slängde min skolväska på golvet i hallen. Jag fick väl plocka upp den senare, just nu brydde jag mig inte. Klockan visade 13.47, och jag suckade. Jag skulle missa en massa viktiga lektioner, men jag ville hellre det än se F4 igen.

På vägen intill köket passerade jag den stora helkroppsspegeln som mamma ofta stod och tittade sig i. Jag stannade till och granskade mig själv. Var jag ful? Var jag värdelös, så som F4 hade fått mig att känna mig?

Såg jag verkligen ut som en tjej?

Det stripiga bruna håret som inramade mitt ansikte i en rak lugg och långa slingor framför öronen kanske såg ut som en tjejfrisyr, men ansiktet då? Jag kollade min näsa, mina ögon, mina läppar. Allting. Och drog en slutsats.

Jag var feminin. Men jag var absolut inte lik en tjej.

Tankspritt fingrade jag på en av slingorna. Om jag klippte av det kanske…?

Jag fortsatte ut till köket, och letade efter en tillräckligt kraftig sax. När jag inte hittade någon, suckade jag och tog en kniv istället. ”Jag kommer ju ändå ha eggen mot håret” tänkte jag, ”inget kommer hända… Dessutom kan jag jämna till det sedan”

Jag tog kniven i min ena hand – jag medger att det kändes konstigt – och gick ut till badrummet. Jag ställde mig där, med kniven i ena handen och försökte samla mod.

Och plötsligt stormade Key in.

Han bara stirrade.

Jag stirrade tillbaka.

Och undrade vad fan han tänkte om mig nu.

[INFO] New blog!

I’ve made a new blog here on wordpress!

As this blog timelessy is an fanfiction-blog, I made a blog about my everyday life too. I want to write about those kinds of stuff too!

Click –> Here!! <– Click

I heard my friend say that she was inspired by me to create a new blog and start writing – I was really touched. I hope more people out there thinks so!

Another friend of mine has made her blog. Please check it out – I promise it’s going to be awesome!

Click –> Here!! <– Click

Question: Requests of stories? I can write whatever (well, almost) whatever you want! Just leave me a comment, and I’ll do my best to fulfill your wish!

Thank you for you appriciation,


Rain – 2Min [Part 6]

Minho’s POV

I gently ruffled Taemin’s soft, brown hair. He breathed softly and relaxed, and seemed to be far away in his dream land. I figured he dreamt something nice and happy, because he smiled in his sleep. It was soothing to see, calming me down as well. But not so much that I could sleep, no, not that much by far. I was still shaken up.


“Hey, Minho-ah! You’re back!”



I waved to the rest of the guys of the gang as I came closer. They waved back, big smiles on their faces. They seemed a bit tired, all of them, and actually a bit more dirty than usual. Strange, but I decided not to worry about it. They were always dirty after all – always tired – maybe it was just because I was so unusually clean myself that I thought they looked more unclean than I was used to… Well, never mind that.

“Hi guys! Missed me that much, eh?”

Jonghyun walked up to me, brohugging me before letting go and looking into my eyes with a smile.

“Sure we did, hell, why did you just disappear like that, bro?” I laughed.

“Well, you know the storm? I was like caught in it, and I had to find a shelter. I actually got to have a roof over my head that night – a nice kiddo took me into his house”

The gang whistles and I smirked. Jonghyun smiled widely.

“Great! Got any money from him?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t took it – he gave it to me” Another whistle, this time from Jiyong.


“Awesome!” Jonghyun said, patting my shoulder. “How much?”

I silently took up the won Taemin hade gave me, and noticed the others hungry glares at them. I wasn’t really in need for them, so I gave it to them – everyone got alike of course. Their smiles widened.

“Whaa! Daebak!”

“Thanks, man!”

“No problem, guys, damn… It’s nothing” I laughed at their eager. “Now, let’s go and buy something good, eh?”

A while after that – around lunchtime, I figured, because I didn’t have a clock – we all sat down near the basketball court, stuffed with all kinds of food. Or, rather, the food we had the money enough to buy. Because when we had money, we didn’t steal. But when we didn’t we stole what we needed to have for surviving. I always felt guilty afterwards, but that feeling became more dulled over the years. It was the same for the other guys – Jonghyun, Jiyong and Seunghyun – they were always a bit quieter than usual after stealing. We would just sit there, eating stolen food, not talking at all. Then, someone – often Jiyong – came up with something to brighten up the mood in our small group. Sometimes, we played basketball. We had found an old ball at the court, and hidden it fell. It was our treasure. When people passed by while we were playing, they often started for a while – the old people smiling at our laughs and eagerness – before they started to walk again. When we played, we didn’t show anything of our misery.

Or, we danced and singed, as I’d told Taemin. And that was what we did now.

“Hey, can’t we do anything? I’m dying from boredom over here” Jiyong groaned. I turned toward him.

“Like what?”

“I dunno… Sing? Dance?”

“Without music?”

“Come on, we always dance without music, pabo!”

I laughed at the silly boy.

“Sure, Jiyong-ah… Seunghyun-ah, can you do the beat?” The eldest one of our group – though he didn’t always act like that – smirked at me.


And then, like at a commando, we all stood up. Seunghyun moved to the leftmost side, I stood at the back, Jiyong at the rightmost side and Jonghyun in the front. Some other kids playing at the court stopped their game and looked at us with curious faces. I smiled at them, and they got a little closer. Jiyong took off his hat and placed it on the ground – just in case someone wanted to give.

Seunghyun started his beatbox, and Jonghyun took the first steps. We decided to do a dance battle, so Jiyong was next, then me, and then Jonghyun again. Seunghyun – not so confident about his dancing moves, and making the beat – didn’t participate in the competition.

Jonghyun made a quick turnaround, slamming his hands against his thighs, danced backwards and hen smirked at Jiyong to tell him it was his turn. Jiyong smirked back and made a breakdance move. When it was my turn, I did the same thing as I had showed Taemin.

More and more people came to watch us, some giving us money. We continued until we felt how we started to get tired, and then Jiyong won the competition with his breakdance. The people gathering around us clapped and we smiled at them, bowing and thanked them for their attention. The kids we had seen earlier watched us with admiring eyes. We waved to them before they left. They were probably heading home, to a caring family who loved them…  Oh stop it, no such thoughts Minho!

We sat down to rest a while after the dancing. We had all enjoyed it, and felt refreshed and happy afterwards – we usually did. For a while we just sat there, kind of exhausted, and ate the rest of the snack. We agreed about saving the money for later, and we put it on another safe place.

After about half an hour, three quarters, I looked at the sun checking the time. Because of many years going after the sun, I knew that the time was about four, and I figured that Taemin had quitted school by that time. I rose from the ground, and the three others looked at me. I smiled at them.

“I’m just going to take a walk! I’ll be back in a minute!”

They smiled back, waved and then continued to talk. I turned away from them and started walking in the direction of Taemin’s school. I took a shortcut through one of the many small alleys that lead from the court. I knew the way very well – we had used it as a runaway from cops many times when we had stolen food or other stuff, mostly clothes. I was about to turn right – I knew the left path went to a dead end – when I heard a slight yelp. It seemed to come from the left path, and I turned my head towards there. For some reason, I felt uneasy… And worried. I thought about shaking it off, but then I heard a loud thud and couldn’t ignore the feeling longer. To my very own surprise, I found myself dashing toward the sound. And then, I stopped dead in my tracks.

What I saw totally terrified me.

Taemin was lying on the ground, whimpering and gasping for air, while a huge man stood leaned over him, ready to hit Taemin’s pretty face with a heavy punch. The man had a really scary – almost perverted – grin on his face, and seemed to enjoy the sound of Taemin’s pain.

Without further thinking, I rushed forward again, and dragged the man away from my friend. I took a grip of his shoulders and practically threw him on the ground. His eyes widened in surprise, but I couldn’t even see which color they were – I only saw red. I bent over him, hitting first his stomach with my knee and then punched his face as hard as I could. And that was pretty hard. Years of surviving at the street, playing basketball and dancing, had made me strong. The man just blacked out, bleeding from his mouth. I didn’t pay more attention to him after that. I hurried over to Taemin again, placing my hand gently on his shoulder. He was shaking.

“Taemin-ah! Are you okay?” I asked him, the worry I felt heard in my voice. Then, I noticed now my hand was getting red.

“Oh god… Are you bleeding?” I said shakily. Then, he realized he seemed to relax in some weird way – he fell. “Taemin? Taemin!”

He had passed out. And I stood there, with his body in my arms, scared to death.

Flashback end

I breathed in deeply to calm myself. I looked at the boy sleeping in my lap. Oh Taemin. If you knew how much I care about you.

Timeless – Isjungfrun Del 1, 2, 3

En gammal berättelse som jag hittade på min förra – nu raderade – blogg. Hope you enjoy.


Maya Selwania. Isjungfrun. Ioa.

Flickan hade många namn. Själv kallade hon sig ingenting. Hon hade inget namn, sa hon. Hon sa att hon var bortglömd. Men han visste bättre. Han visste att hon var något. Hon var Maya Selwania, hon var Isjungfrun, hon var Ioa. Hon var allt. Men ändå inget.

Hon var tidlös. Mellan liv och död. Och ändå så verklig.

Del ett:

Maya Selwania skrubbade envist det vita trägolvet i salongen. Borsten skrapade mjukt och fick henne att känna sig rofyllt. Den bruna, egentligen svarta, flätan föll ner över högra axeln och gungade fram och tillbaka efter armens rytmiska rörelser. De trötta grå ögonen blinkade och tårades av det starka rengöringsmedlet och händerna var flammigt röda. Som vanligt hade hon stängt öronen för samtalet som fru Triann, kvinnan hon arbetade för och även hennes styvmor, och herr Cifré förde angående Mayas lathet och oduglighet, skatterna och den nya osten från Honneya’s. Men ändå trängde en del in, särskilt fru Triann’s höga och skärande röst.

“… ja, och hon är långsam som en ko, särskilt när hon ska tvätta fönstren, då tar hon en evigheeet på sig, ja ja, jag säger bara det, och jag vill inte ens tänka på mattpiskningen! Då latade hon sig minsann, sanna mina ord.”

Herr Cifrié nickade och hummade till svar och lät fru Triann sköta samtalet. Frun väntade sig inte heller några svar.

“En dag kommer den flickan att få ett ordentligt kok stryk, ja, så fort Alder kommer tillbaka, jo jo, då kommer det gå undan ja säger då det!”

Maya blinkade två gånger i snabb följd och koncentrerade sig på den skarpa doften från medlet hon använde för att stänga ute pladdret. Håret rasslade när pärlorna gneds mot varandra, vilket också hjälpte. Så kom plötsligt fru Triann fram till henne och drog henne i håret.

“Hördu du du, tror du att du bara kan ligga där hela dan heller? Raska på!”

Maya nickade, sänkte huvudet och fortsatte skrubba fläcken efter det röda vinet fru Triann hade spillt ut föregående kväll. Hon försökte ignorera lusten att gråta. Och inte bara över smärtan i hårbottnen.

Del två:

Fundersamt drog Maya loss en härslinga ur flätan och rullade den mellan pekfingret och tummen. Slingan var beträdd med pärlor, som seden var i Zérien, staden där hon bodde. Alla kvinnor under tjugo år skulle sno ihop håret till smala slingor och trä på pärlor på dem. Färgen och kvaliteten på pärlorna spelade också roll: brunt var den lägst stående färgen eftersom de var lätta att framställa, billiga och just för att de var bruna. Bunt ansågs fult: det var samma färg som smuts och, tja, annat som ej passade de högre graderna. Den näst finaste färgen var guld, och efter den, lysande smaragdgrönt. Inte jadegrönt, det kom på femte plats i rangordningen, utan verkligen den klara lysande nyansen av grönt. Den nyansen var svår att få tag på, just därför var den eftertraktad av de högre skikten.

Maya hade under de fyra första åren av sin barndom fått bära rubinrött i håret (nummer tre i rangordningen) och efter att hennes far gift om dig jadegrönt (som sagt nummer fem). Men efter att hennes far dött hade fru Triann, eller Gesinna som hon
egentligen hette, bytt ut de gröna pärlorna mot bruna. Gesinna hade sett till så att hennes dotter Nanna fick guldpärlor och hon själv smaragdgröna.

Personligen tyckte Maya att den bruna färgen var vacker, eftersom den såg mer naturlig ut än alla de andra färgerna. Näst efter den, ansåg hon, kom den rubinröda färgen.

Slingan mellan Mayas fingrar föll ner då hon släppte den. Istället stirrade hon ut igenom det immiga vindsfönstret i hennes rum. Utanför vräkte oktoberregnet ner, smattrade emot taket på herrgården och smög sig in genom fönsterkarmen.

Maya reste sig upp, hämtade en tygtrasa ifrån den rangliga byrån i rummet och torkade upp vattnet innan det hann rinna ner på golvet. Sedan hämtade hon fler tygtrasor och stoppade fönstret med. Tyget dämpade även ljudet lite, vilket gladde henne. Uppe på vinden var det aldrig riktigt tyst som man skulle ha kunnat tro, utan dör hörde man allt. Maya log trött och satte sig sedan på den gamla knarrande sängen. Hon drog av sig strumporna, tog av sig förklädet och knäppte upp knapparna i ryggen på den gråa klänningen hon bar. Sedan drog hon av hättan, även den grå, som hon bar på huvudet, slängde allting över stolsryggen och tog på sig hennes slitna, för korta nattlinne i vitt och kröp ner under den tunna filten. Nästa dag skulle det återigen bli fest, och då behövde hon vara utvilad. Maya slöt ögonen och gled in i sömnen.

Del tre:

Den enkla svarta klänningen smekte Mayas hud då den gled över hennes huvud och nerför hennes smala kropp. Hon kunde inte låta bli att le. Fru Triann hade tillåtit henne att ha på sig den svarta klänningen, enkel men fin, ett vitt förkläde och en vit hätta på huvudet, eftersom det var fest. Borgmästaren, herr Cifré, chefen för banken och många andra viktiga personer i staden skulle komma. Det var en viktig bal eftersom den skulle visa fru Trianns status och rikedom. Maya skulle springa omkring och passa upp gästerna, se till så att det var prydligt och snyggt överallt, duka av och på bord, bära ut maten, ja allt! Bara musiken skulle hon inte stå för: Nanna skulle spela piano. Man kunde inte förneka att Nanna var duktig men hon var inte lika duktig som Maya, även fast ingen uppmärksammade det. I smyg brukade hon öva då hon dammade och fejade i herrgården om dagarna, då frun och Nanna inte var hemma. Dessutom hade hon ju, innan hennes föräldrar dog, fått lära sig spela piano, harpa och lyra.

Maya satte försiktigt fast hättan med små, tunna silverne nålar i sitt bruna hår. Nålarna sattes fast på insidan av hättans vita tyg så de inte syntes. Hättan hade två lager med ett litet luftrum emellan, där nålhuvudena stack upp, och var mycket väl sydda så de satt fast men ändå såg eleganta ut. Förklädet hade ett smalt svart band i midjan som knöts där bak i en liten rosett och nederst på den svarta klänningen löpte en smal spets. Maya log igen. Så fin hade hon inte varit på länge! Hon hade alltid fått bära den slitna, gråa klänningen som bara räckte till knäna och på vintern endast en tunn, tunn svart kappa utanpå klänningen. Och ovanpå det hade hon ha fått ha träskor som skavde något förskräckligt. Pärlor fanns i en ask på vinden när hon behövde dem. Så nu var hon närmast euforiskt över denna dag av prydlighet och elegans. Festen skulle vara ända till klockan tre på natten, så hon fick bära kläderna länge. Äntligen kände hon sig som om hon var i närheten av den adelsdotter hon faktiskt var!


Kvällen nalkades. Inne i käket stod Maya och rörde stressat om i en stor gryta med köttsoppa. Det var det finaste köttet i hela Zérien, från det finaste slakteriet, och soppan luktade ljuvligt. Trots att det vattnade sig i munnen på Maya fick hon inte smaka. Då och då kom fru Triann in och provsmakade för att se om soppan höll högsta kvalitet. Maya var strängt förbjuden att smaka, men fru Triann smakade mer än nödvändigt. Hon smakade även på potatismoset med ost och sesamfrön i, på den stekta kalkonen fylld med läckerheter, på gelén som stod ute i kylrummet [se nere] för att få den perfekta konsistensen… På grodlåren, på de grillade sparvarna, på grönsakssoppan, på fläskfilén, på den hemgjorda hallonglassen, på chokladsåsen, på de nybakta bröden med återigen sesamfrön och nötkross, på den knapriga ankan med honung, på jordgubbarna… Ja, på allt som Maya hade slitit så med. Dessutom smackade hon alltid med läpparna och log retsamt då hon såg Mayas lystna blick.

Maya svalde och svalde och fick verkligen anstränga sig för att inte greppa en sked och smaka på köttgrytan. Svetten rann nerför hennes ansikte. Den svarta klänningen, förklädet och hättan hade hon tagit av så de inte skulle bli förstörda av matos och svett, även om hon visste att det tog tid för henne att ordna hennes hår i en anständig frisyr (just då hängde det stripigt runt hennes magra ansikte) och sätta i nålarna som höll hättan på plats. Men ändå ville hon inte förstöra det enda finplagg hon hade.

Plötsligt skyndade Nanna in i köket. Hon hade en underbart vacker guldfärgad klänning som gick perfekt ihop med hennes guldfärgade hår. Överallt på klänningen satt det silverrosetter och band med silver- och guldpärlor och runt om hennes hals låg ett halsband med en stor diamant infattad i ett nät av guld i en tjock kedja av guld. Maya kände hur hennes hjärta sjönk. Nanna kom säkert bara in för att göra Maya avundsjuk på hennes vackra kläder och hon hade lyckats.

Men Nanna kom med helt andra bud. Hon var tvingad av sin mor att behandla Maya som slav, och visserligen ansåg hon att det var rätt, men hon tyckte ändå synd om Maya som hade behövt slitna från klockan sex tills då utan vila. Nanna gick sakta fram till en stekt kyckling, slet loss ett lår och gav det till Maya, under tystnad. Förvånad tog Maya emot det, men tvekade inte utan högg in på maten. Nanna log snabbt emot henne och gick sedan ut, och lämnade en ytterst förbryllad Maya efter sig.

Kvällen blev som väntat. Alldeles för mycket vin och starka likörer, mycket bullrande skratt och höga samtal och en mycket lång kväll för Maya. Ända tills klockan 5.30 på morgonen fick hon jobba med att tvätta, städa undan och plocka upp krossat glas. Sedan, då hon äntligen fick vila, så fick hon bara det tills klockan var 8.05. Inte mycket sömn, men fru Triann var hänsynslös. Maya skulle jobba, annars fick hon ingen mat.

Maya suckade där hon låg på knä och kände i den tjocka mattan efter glasbitar, med bara händerna. Ändå skar hon sig inte, hon var van vid att göra sådant. Men nu var hon så fruktansvärt trött. Så trött så det kändes som om hon skulle svimma.

Vid lunchen den dagen (Maya fick äta kalla rester av kyckling, bröd och tunn sås) bestämde hon sig. Hon skulle lämna huset och fru Triann. Hon skulle rymma. Och hon skulle göra det snart.

Den natten tassade Maya upp i bara det slitna nattlinnet, fram till byrån. Tyst tände hon ett stearinljus och drog ut lådan där hennes svarta klänning, vita förkläde och hätta låg. Tyst som en mus klädde hon på sig kläderna, huttrandes av kylan på vindsvåningen, och drog sedan den gamla bruna mansrocken över sina axlar. Sedan smög hon nerför de många trapporna, stack fötterna i sina träskor som hon hade stoppat med lite undanstoppad ull och försvann ut i natten.

Rain – 2Min [Part 5]

“Taemin? Taemin-ah, can you hear me?”

The familiar voice reached me in my floating darkness. I groaned. The pain was everywhere, but my back seemed to be worst. I didn’t want to answer – I was too afraid that it would hurt to open my mouth.

“Taemin, please answer me!”

Oh screw that. When he was pleading like this, I couldn’t resist.

I tried to open my eyes, but the simple action shot a lightning of fire though my head. I groaned in pain. Smooth fingers touched my face, stroking my chin to calm me down. I didn’t realize I was crying until Minho wiped away my tears.

“Hush, Minnie, it’s okay now… You’re safe” He mumbled, and I felt his breath on my skin. I tried to relax, but it was hard. My back hurt like hell, and my ankle seemed to be twisted. It felt like that, anyway.

“M-Minho-hyung…” I finally managed to say, but it came out as a gasp. I coughed, my lungs hurt for some weird reason.

“Oh god Taemin! I was so worried over you! Here, take this and don’t talk too much, okay?”

I felt how something warm was laid over me, and I sighed in relief. Was I freezing? I hadn’t noticed that.

“O-okay…” I whispered, and again I felt how something stroked my cheek.

“How to get you home now…?” I heard Minho mumble. Then suddenly, I felt his strong, warm arms underneath me. I almost opened my eyes in shock.

“M-Minho-ah… What are you…?”

“I’m carrying you home, it’s not that far”

I was pressed against his scarred chest, and I slowly started to relax a bit in his arms.

And then realized he didn’t have a shirt on.

My face was pressed against his bare skin, and I felt how it heated up at this. Oh god… I realized too, that it was his shirt that he had laid over me before and it was that piece of cloth that I now clutched in my arms. I was even more embarrassed at this. First, he was carrying me. Then, he was carrying me SHIRTLESS. But, I guess that it was only me being a perv after all. We were both boys, right? So it shouldn’t be such a big deal… But it was, for me atleast. Why was I thinking these strange thoughts anyway? Well… He was hot indeed… But I shouldn’t b-

“How are you feeling, Taemin?”

When Minho suddenly spoke, I was woken up from my dirty thoughts. I tried to open my eyes again, this time it went a bit better. I looked at him with half-closed eyes.

“A bit… Better” I croaked out, my voice sounding terribly. I pouted at this – usually my voice was smooth, and now… Sigh.

Minho chuckled at this it seemed, and I guess I must’ve looked kind of hilarious.

“Good… You’re really cute when you do that” he replied. I could hear the smile in his voice.

“You think so?” Another croak, another chuckle.


After that, he walked in silence, and I guessed he became a bit tired after all. Was I really that heavy? Sigh again.

“Well, we’re at your place now” Minho said a short while after that. I opened my eyes again – now I realized I had got a hit in my head, and that was why it hurt, but I was also very tired. I could see my door, and I reached out for the key I had in my pocket. I gave it to Minho, who unlocked the door with one hand – I was amazed at this – and we went in. Minho gently put me down in the sofa, and I thankfully leaned back against the pillows. I peeked at him through my eyelashes. He was on his way to the kitchen, and I got to lock at his back. I could only describe it with one word – sexy. Muscular, well-build, the perfect proportions… I caught myself thinking these thoughts, and closed my eyes again before I could continue watching his movements.

I heard steps as he came out from the kitchen again.

“Here, Minnie, I made some tea for you…” he said, his voice gentle and caring. I smiled at him, looking at him again with half closed eyes, taking the cup from him.

“This… it’s almost like… two days ago” I croaked out, taking a sip from the tea. Minho nodded, smiling.

“Yeah… But now I’m the one taking care of you”

“That is… nice” I sighed happily. The hot tea felt good for my throat, and I took another sip. I started to warm up too.

“Taemin… What happened? I found you lying on the ground, with that man going to hit you… Who was he?” Minho asked suddenly, in a very serious tone. I sighed – now I could, I already felt better except for my back and my ankle.

“He followed me on my way home from school and tried to rob me” I answered, looking at the hot tea cup in my hands. I hadn’t noticed they were trembling. I felt Minhos eyes on me, and I looked back on him, trying to smile.

“Thank you for saving me, Minho-ah”

He seemed to blush a bit. Then, he carefully hugged me, wrapping his arms around my think frame, holding me closely but was careful not to hurt me.

“No problem… I owed you one”

Rain – 2Min [Part 4]

Monday came, and suddenly it was time for school again.

As I got up in the morning, I smiled at the thought of Minho still asleep in the house. I once again walked out to the kitchen to make breakfast – for today, it’d be sandwiches. I didn’t have time to do something more complicated. I stood there, making my sandwich, as I thought of Minho once again. First, I had thought I would wake him up before breakfast, but then decided to let him sleep until the breakfast was ready and on the table. But… I did trust him enough to let him “borrow” the house during the day, didn’t I? So maybe I should just let him sleep an-

“Good morning, Taemin”

I turned around, smiling at my new friend. He stood in the doorway, rubbing the sleep out from his eyes, with only training trousers on. He didn’t have a shirt on, and I quickly looked at his scarred chest before turning away again. His thin body was sure nice build, and his chest was actually really hot, not to speak of his ar- Oh god, what was I thinking?

“Good morning, Minho. Slept well?”

“Not really” He yawned. “I woke up around three o’ clock, being really thirsty. After that, I didn’t really sleep well – I had the most confusing dreams including noodles, PlayStation and rain” We both smiled at this – his dreams was the scenarios from the past days. I made a gesture toward the sandwiches.

“Sorry, there’s no cool food today, but take how many sandwiches you want… or no, not as many as you want” I corrected myself, “I still don’t have a lot of money” Minho just smiled.

“This will be fine” he answered simply, making his way to the sliced bread and started to make his own. I sat down at the table with some tea and a sandwich, eating quickly because I didn’t want to get late. Minho sat down beside me, also eating. We didn’t talk much, as we both were busy with our meal, but when I was almost done Minho opened his mouth again.

“Where’s your school?”

I chewed quickly.

“It’s, uhm, near the basketball court” I remembered that he used to sleep there, so I used it for the description. Minho smiled – now he knew.

“Can I follow you there? I kind of want to see my friends”


“Thanks, Minnie”

I froze a bit. Had he just given me a nickname?

“Uhm, Minho-ah, what did you just call me?”

“Minnie… Don’t you like nicknames? I could stop calling you that if you want to” Minho said, nervous look on his face. I smiled reassuring.

“No, it’s okay, just… Don’t call me that in public? Minnie sounds so… Non-manly”

He laughed.

“Well, maybe, but it’s cute. So I can call you that when we’re hom- here?”

I smiled, knowing that he had almost said “home” instead of “here”. It felt good to know that he liked this place, and felt like home here.

“Sure, why not?”

Finishing the last bites of our breakfast, we got up, washed the dishes and then parted ways into our rooms. I changed into my school uniform, checked my hair and brushed my teeth white. Then, I was ready to go.

“Are you done, Minho-ah?” I shouted from the hall, where he just two days ago had stood dripping wet. At that time, I had just thought he was a usual guy who happened to stay for too long in the rain, now I knew he was so much more. I wanted to show him my appreciation for his company somehow, though I didn’t quite know how to do that.

“Yep! I’ll be there in a minute!” he shouted back from the bathroom. As he came out form there, he had put on his baseball-cap and messed up his hair, so he looked more like the homeless boy again. I thought I understood why – he didn’t want to stand out among his friends, coming back after a few days like a snob. Well, that made sense.

“Only forty-five second to be exact” I smiled at him and he rolled his eyes.

“Oh, shut up”

We went outside, and enjoyed the relaxing sunshine. It seemed to melt into our bodies like the warmth from the fire had done at that rainy day. It was perfect, and for the first time I felt like it was going to be a good day in school.

We walked together toward the basketball court, but as we got closer, Minho suddenly stopped.

“Taemin, don’t be mad now okay? But I’ll go the rest of the way to them by myself” he said, looking at me with the “please-don’t-kill-me-for-leaving-you”-expression.  I laughed a bit, though I’d wanted to walk with him. It was nice.

“Of course I won’t be mad, just go! I’ll be fine” I smiled reassuring. He seemed thankful, and went over in the direction to the court. I pouted at his back; actually I didn’t want to be alone. But I had been speaking the truth too, though – I understood his feelings. I continued my walk toward the school.

The day went, and then school ended. I almost ran out from the school – I was so excited about coming home again, relax, maybe have some tea, and hopefully – chat with Minho. I had missed him during the day, didn’t have a clue why, but I guessed that it was because he was one of my only good friends. Sure, Kibum and Jinki were nice and so, but I couldn’t quite talk to them like I could talk to Minho. Strange, I had only known him for like, three days? Whatever… I had missed him, and that was the point. Oh god, I’m rambling so much.

I continued thinking about these strange things, wondered how you could become so good friends in such a short time, when I suddenly had a creepy feeling that someone was watching me. I turned around, looking. No one was to be seen, except for me. I just shrugged it off as and illusion, caused by the long school day. Then, I started to walk again.

But as I felt it again, I started to get nervous. This time, I was positive I had heard steps behind me too. I turned around once more, started to walk faster, hurry, hurry, hurry!

And then I stopped. A dead end. Fuck.

Suddenly, I felt someone press something cold against my neck. I started to shake, trembling as an animal close to dying. The person behind me breathed in my ear, and the touch made me shiver even more. I felt like I was close to tearing up, and I started to breathe in hiccups. The cold steel against the back of my neck made me see stars already – I was so damn afraid. I felt that I should’ve done something to escape, as I’m eighteen and a man after all, but I was paralyzed. I just stood there, breathing shakily and trembling.

“Got cash?” I heard the person mumble behind me. I nodded – anything to please him – but the truth was that I didn’t have any money. I had bought lunch for my last won. Now, what?

He smirked against my skin; I could feel his teeth against it.

“Give me”

I started to furiously look in my pockets, checking two times, three times, if I by any chance had any extra money on me, but no. Negative result. I swallowed deeply. The robber smiled once more.

“Seems like you’re lying, kiddo… You’ll regret that” he said, and started to laugh evilly. Before I could react, I felt something hard hit my back and I fell to the ground. As soon as I made contact with the cold ground, I felt like something snapped in my foot. It hurt, but not as much as if I had broken it. I gasped for air – the hit hade made me lose my breath.

Then the robber pressed the knife against my neck again, this time harder, and scratched my skin the slightest bit.

“Regret lying yet, huh, kid?”

I was sure I was going to die now. This man would kill me. No one would ever know what had happened to the eighteen year old boy Lee Taemin. My parents would have to live in sorrow for the rest of their lives when they came back from the stated and got the message that their son had disappeared. And when my grandma visited, she would find an empty house. Finally, the tears started to run down my cheeks.

While thinking this, I didn’t notice that the man suddenly was jerked away from my body. I didn’t even hear the loud thump when something fell to the ground, or the smash that’s heard when a person hits another. Then suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder again, but this time gentler, more caring and friendly.

“Taemin-ah! Are you okay?” I heard this person say with a low voice, before removing the hand again.

“Oh god… Are you bleeding? Taemin? Taemin!”

And I passed out.